The thought of going on a first date with someone new can be overwhelming. The Single Man’s Manual explains that it is important to keep everything in perspective and you must always be prepared and alert. You may have chatted to someone on the phone and had a few text messages. However many people are different when you meet them in person. A telephone can mask a lot including the confidence of the woman you are meeting. Remember, she may well be feeling the same as you. This can present itself in different ways.

Your heart may beat a little faster, your blood pressure could rise, you could start to sweat a little and your stomach could get butterflies.

The reason you may be feeling this way is because you are in an unfamiliar situation. It is perfectly normal!

You could be afraid that you may stumble over your words or even say the wrong thing which can make your confidence spiral downwards. A drink may help calm the nerves, do not have more than one or two though you don’t want to be slurring your words.

If you loosely work out in advance what possible situations may come up in any potential scenarios you will be prepared for whatever may arise. To help you with this prepare a few open-ended questions. These include questions starting with Who, What, How, When, Where and Why. When you start a conversation with any of these the woman is far more likely to give you a detailed answer which can lead on to the next question, instead of closed questions that only require a yes or no answer as they can shut the flow of conversation down.

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On the day of the date The Single Man’s Manual advises you to watch or listen to the news, look up general interesting stories on the internet – at least then you have some prepared topics of conversation. This will help to make the woman feel comfortable if you talk about third party external topics and events, subjects that are not related to either of you. Save asking more personal questions for later if you are both getting on.

When dating again steer clear of religious or political topics until you get to know them better. Many people feel very passionate about these subjects which can lead to heated conversations – not a great start on a first date.

Other topics to steer clear of are your ex-girlfriend, ex-wives, ex-mistress, in fact – all ex’s. If you hear yourself starting to say something like – ‘oh! my ex used to do/say/wear that . . . . ‘and the other person just listens, this does not mean a permission slip has been granted to continue talking about your ex. It just means that this woman is too kind to scream at the top of her voice “FOR GOD’S SAKE DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR PREVIOUS PARTNERS”. Instead she is likely to finish the date as soon as possible call her girlfriend’s straight afterwards and say “Yep – another one bites the dust – talked about his EX! BORED!”

From the research compiled for The Single Man’s Manual talking about your ex is the number one turn off.

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When you are ready to go dating again think about what you want to gain from dating and the time frames in which you expect to achieve them. Dating can be a time consuming exercise, albeit fun and rewarding on the way, so a big question to ask yourself is, “Do you have the time in your life to go dating?” and if you do have a connection with a woman, do you have the time for a relationship?

Today many women are of the understanding that if you are dating again you have time to pursue a relationship should the chemistry be there. If this is not what you are after, be up front in your profile or when meeting a date for the first time. Make it clear your intentions that you only have time for dating and not a full-blown relationship.

Should you not be ready for anything more than simply friendship with a woman there are plenty of women out there who would like to go on a date as a friend. They too might have just come out of a long-term relationship and looking to broaden their circle of new friends. The key again is to be honest with yourself and your potential dates.

Ask yourself the following questions

What would you like your future partner to be like?

Do you have room and time in your life for a new partner?

If so what are your long term goals, 1 year, 3 years and 5 years?

Would you like your partner to be a part of your future goals?

Do you have to travel with work a lot? If yes – where to and what impact could it bring on a new relationship? Would you be allowed to take a partner?

Would you mind if your partner had to travel for work?

Do you want to travel? Where would you like to travel to and when?

Would this include your partner?

How would you like your new partner to interact with your family?

How would you like to interact with your new partner’s family?

Does your family have events that you to attend?  Would you mind if her family has many social events?

If you have children, do you want more? or if not now, in the future?

Do you want a partner who already has children?

Do you have many friends?

Do you plan weekends away or regular hook ups with your friends or children?

Is it important for your partner to have any friends?

What are your feelings around love and sex?

What would you like your partner’s views around love and sex to be?

In the real world it takes three seconds for people to make their minds up about you on first impression in the online world you have a micro-second. Make sure that the photo you use in your online dating profile gives you the best chance of showing who you really are and encouraging a woman to click on it to read more about you.

When deciding what photo of yourself that you are going to use that best represents yourself please make sure you stay away from these three classic mistakes that men make on dating websites. Here are the examples and we also explain why we do not like them.  These are from a dating website, it is easy to keep the men anonymous as we cannot see their faces:-

The Fishing/Hunter Shot

Of all the photos this seems to be a favourite amongst men – yes very impressive indeed that you caught that massive fish however the messages that this image sends to a woman are many

1. You go fishing every weekend and have no time to do other things.

2. When you do get home am I expected to cook this fish?

3. I cannot see your face or head and so do not know what you really look like. The fish looks nice but I am not going on a date with it !

The Top Gun Shot

This too is a popular photograph that men use as their main profile – as women we like to see a mans eyes- they are the windowsto the soul and it would be also nice to know if you have hair, what colour it is etc – so when you wear a baseball hat and glasses we cannot see you – we are relying on just the smile – as lovely as that is !

The Action Shot

Then finally in this section (there are many more) is the photo of a man doing something really adventurous – hiking, surfing, ski-ing – we cannot see your faces so again this makes it less likely for us to click into your online profile to read more about you as we may not be interested in the sport you have chosen even if you only do it a couple of days of the year. If you like climbing Everest I am more likely to think that I will not see you for 6 months of the year.

Relationships are all about give and take. But when they end, there is usually a lot more take involved – lifestyle, companionship, confidence, trust, and, of course, love.

Men, regardless of their ages, are often less able to cope with these losses, and have difficulty managing the ‘moving on‘ process.

Knowing that you are not alone is little comfort – after all, this is all about YOU and YOUR life, and YOU are unique.  No one else can

• be as lonely as YOU are
• hurt as much as YOU do, and
• have less confidence than YOU

While your family and friends may try to cocoon you, understand that wallowing in self-pity will get you nowhere, fast.  If you are to get your life back together and find love, and a relationship, again, you need to take action.

You can’t steer a parked car!

But let’s keep the brakes on for just a moment……

Before you begin the journey into your future, you need to take a side trip to the town of Self Assessment, and become aware of some little known ‘road rules’ of dating in the twenty first century.

And Consider The Single Man’s Manual as your GPS.

The Single Man’s Manual has been created by Clodagh Higgins and Sarah Rutherford, who, through their own dating experiences, met a variety of men who were searching for companions, and love.

These experiences showed them that single men, who are looking for relationships, need help – big time!

And, because they are women on a mission, they don’t beat around the bush! They know the big turn offs for women: poor hygiene, the moaning about ‘exes’ – and profile photos featuring trophy fish!  In The Single Man’s Manual they reveal the big turn ons as well.

Most importantly though, Clodagh and Sarah interviewed men who had just come out of long term relationships. It was through these men’s stories that many of the issues surrounding being ‘suddenly single’ were put into perspective for them – and the real heart of the Single Man’s Manual began to beat.

The Single Man’s Manual – A Guide For Men Who Are Suddenly Single Again, is now destined to become the foundation of a new TV program.  It helps men take a good look at themselves, their wants and needs, and discusses:

• Confidence – getting it back
• Hobbies and Interests – understanding what excites YOU
• Social occasions – first, second and third impressions all count
• Fitness and Nutrition – putting your best YOU forward
• Online Dating – the do’s and the very big DON’Ts
• Growing Relationships – a shared journey, or at a crossroads?

Regardless of your age and whether you’ve had long or short term relationships in the past, The Single Man’s Manual, will help you move forward, with confidence.

Purchase The Single Man’s Manual on Amazon – click here.